Facebook School of Social Standing

It is common knowledge that Facebook was started by Mark Zuckerberg to provide an interaction platform to Harvard students. The more I use Facebook and analyze the performance of regular organic posts, the more I feel like I am back in school competing against peers for something that I have now started to call a high “Social Standing”. Mark Zuckerberg was a student who created an interactive world for other students; hence it’s not a surprise that Facebook challenges you to be the best in the class and amongst your peers, years after you have graduated.

“ABC started working at McKinsey consulting ltd”

“XYZ is feeling Awesome @ Eiffel Tower Paris”

“Lucky to have PQR in my life. You are such an awesome guy”

We decide what part of our daily mundane life would be socially cool and submit that information as a post or picture to Facebook. So in a way we submit assignments in form of posts/pictures/updates etc. to the Facebook School of social standing and wait to be graded.

For simple explanation consider Facebook to be a school which grades all its pupils in a big relative grading system called "SOCIAL STANDING".

There are marks assigned for everything like:

·      Attendance

·      Time spent in school (On Facebook)

·      Class participation (Post and Pictures update)

·      Participation in extra-curricular activities (Facebook Apps)

Like most schools, Facebook gives its pupils a constant chance to work hard towards improving their social standing. Though FB does favor the best and the brightest of the lot as per the grading system; the more you score, the more chance you get to shine on other people’s walls to score further. (PS: Score refers to scoring points :-))

In this post I have tried to demystify Facebook’s organic posts grading system and how it impacts our social standing. So lets take a look at the variables and how they impact the equation.

Likes (L) :

Likes on pictures and posts are basic points, which keep getting added to your report. This is also the most common base of comparison between students to do a self-evaluation of their social standing.

Comments (C) :

Comments have higher weightage and work as point boosters. One comment’s value can range anything from +5pts to +100pts depending upon the social standing of the person who commented (Somebody actually took out time to type all that, even though they might have just copy pasted and tweaked a previous comment). Considering the average attention span of individuals when online is just about 2secs (unless its porn), comments are considered to be high value variable by Facebook.

Share (S):

Share is a Multiplier. Every time somebody shares your content, all the basic points that you accumulated via likes and comments gets multiplied by the number of pupils who shared your post.

Friends (F):

The total no of friends on Facebook for an individual can in some cases be more than the no of people the individual has actually physically interacted with in his entire lifespan. It’s just a way to get more points. Adding people who you don't know is cheating for getting a higher social standing but Facebook promotes it by showing your common friends (In some cases you might not even remember the common friends but still add them because 5 common friends means you might just know them)

Messages (M):

That has no relevance in the scorecard. It is a means for FB to ensure students don't shift to other schools of social standing like Google+ with its enticing Gmail and G-chat faculty.

Grading System

Facebook grades your assignment submissions (posts/pictures etc.) over a pre-decided time interval. If your assignment grade is above the minimum passing marks for that time interval, the assignment is shown as an example of cool Social standing on your friend’s wall. If you secure very high grades then its shown even on your friend’s friend’s walls. This continues till the time your assignment grades are higher then the minimum passing marks for consecutive time intervals.

Time Interval 1: Total marks = L1 + C1 + S(L1+C1)

Time Interval 2: Total marks = L2 + C2 + S(L2+C2)

And so on….

Once your assignment marks are below the passing criteria in a particular time interval, Facebook does not show it on walls anymore. Moreover any assignment, which performs amazingly well over consecutive time periods, has a high possibility of going VIRAL (that’s like winning the national competition/national scholarship award/national best student award).

Facebook School of social standing maintains its high standard of fair marks allotment but they publically admit that they are open to accepting money to boost your marks. Once you agree to pay money to improve your social standing your assignment is passed on to the department called Facebook Ad manager.

Facebook Ad manager is like Shah Rukh Khan of “Main hun Na”, consistently prompting you that you need not worry if your posts are not getting good grades, Ad manager hai na…

Facebook Ad manager is a coaching center associated with the main school. Its purpose is to help weak students become popular and popular ones to become viral; and of course, all this extra help comes at a cost. This coaching center helps you get instant results and also teaches you the kind of content that would work best for you.

Facebook has somehow become a part of our daily routine, and as I come to the end of this post I am already wondering about how many marks would this post secure.

And even if I don’t get results organically Ad Manager toh hai na!!!